Happiness

I didn't know how hard moving was going to be. I really thought it was going to be a piece of cake. I want to put a special thanks out to my sister-in-law. She has been amazing to me. We have spent so much time together and it has been a blast. There is something though about having your own friends come into town.

I really thought I was happy. I had and have all the excitement of the kids and my friend/sister-in-law Erica to cover up me not being happy. I really thought I was. I consume my time with spending time with family so that I don't have to think about the move and everyone I left back home.

Anyway....

I had a friend come and visit on Tuesday and it was amazing. Jamie and her family came to visit me. We wine to to the Opry Mills Mall and spent the day there. We reminisced and I spent time with the kids. It was great. We talked for hours at the house. We were up til 3 am just talking. It was awesome. I couldn't remember how long it's been since I have felt that way. So my friend leaves and I didn't realize how bad it was going to be. I cried like a little baby and then I was sick and tired and depressed. Then I spoke to Isaiah and I decided to do my Jesus calling. It was so crazy. Satan wants me to be this way. He wants me to be depressed and think that my life isn't good. Well you know what Satan I am done with you controlling my happiness. My happiness is not based on Satan but on God and what He has given me and what He has done for me and how He has transformed my life.

Jesus Take the Wheel

So I am not going to lie. It has been a while since I did any kind of Bible reading or Bible study. Plain and simple I haven't been in the word. Well I went to go watch television this morning and something wasn't right. Nothing was coming on. So I sat there for a few minutes and decided if it didn't work after a few minutes than I was going to have to find something else to do. Well I decide that this was a God thing. My friend Isaiah has been telling me that I need to finish my 90 Days with Jesus so that we can start James together. Well I haven't done that book since a little before I left for Tennessee. So I decided to go get the book and start working in it. Good thing I did because it was about staying in the word everyday. It was based on Luke 8:4-15. About how the seeds and depending on what type of ground they were on they could take in God's word and you that to grow with. But each one couldn't do that because the type of ground it was on. I figured out that I am the seed that fell among the thorns. Since I got here I have fallen away in what the world wants me to be and I know that's wrong and that isn't me. "Distractions of all kinds is our biggest challenge in this pursuit. The distracted hearer chokes on his or her own appetites." - Beth Moore. Which then made me do a search on Jesus taking control and leading me where he wants me to be. So I remembered that Carrie Underwood had her song about Jesus taking the wheel. He can take my wheel.



Here are the lyrics.

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
?Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
[| From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/carrie-underwood-lyrics/jesus-take-the-wheel-lyrics.html |]
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life

I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
?Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go

So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh

You would not believe your eyes if ten million fireflies!!!!!

So the other night I was sitting on the porch in a rocking chair enjoying the Tennessee air, when all of a sudden I saw something flicker. Once I saw the first flicker of light it brought me back to a time when I was a little girl. These GLORIOUS little bugs could light up the night sky. It was awesome because all I wanted to do was catch a firefly. So I ran into my in laws house so excited like I was a little girl again. I asked my father in law for a jar and he asked me why. I said because I want to catch fireflies. I have only done this one other time and I was a little girl. So I grabbed my jar and ran out side. I caught five of them. Then I ran inside to showily and my brother in law. They of course didn't appreciate Gods GLORIOUS bugs like I did. When I ran in to show them they were like their not doing anything and I freaked out and said I promos their in there and alive. Then I took the jar and said please show them I am not lying. And then they all lit up at once. I immediately thanked God for that one. So then I decided I wanted to keep them. So I ran back outside and grabbed a handful of grass and ran back inside to Mike and said honey I need you to hold the jar. I put the grass in there and then I went and showed my father in law. He suggested that we put a piece of wet/damp towel in there in case they were thirsty. Then I looked up on the Internet and found out that we did exactly what we were supposed to do. It's amazing how God equips us with the knowledge that we need when we need it.

Words

So last night was WINTERJAM and it was amazing.  It was the first time I hade been and the first time I felt accepted in a church.  I shared something with the kids that they definitely didn't know about me.  I forget sometimes that I have to b careful what I say.  You see sometimes we can say things and forget the age group we are talking to.  So let me go ahead and apologize for how I tell things.  Some things aren't appropriate to say to certain people.  I sometimes don't think of the age of innocence.  I just think just because kids hear it in school that it is ok for me to say it.  Kids are so vulnerable and what we to them they take it to heart.  I just feel like sometimes I can't control what comes out of my mouth.  I hpe that the joke I made doesn't influence the kids or even make them not get the moral of the story I shared.  I shared it because I don't know if the kids fully understand how important their actions are.  So with that being said I need prayer to watch what I say and when I say it not that it was mean or ugly it just might not have been appropriate.  Well I love you kids and hope that you understand how hard it was for me to share that story with you last night.  I love you so much!!!

No Satisfaction

I am satisfied with what I have done and who I have become.  I am praying for God's will this year.  I know that I am satisfied with who I have become but I want my personal Savior Jesus Christ to be satisfied with who I am.  It took me a long time to learn what being satisfiend was.  Thanks to my two friends "Isiah" and Hope I would have never learned that.  I have never been this satisfied with my life and with what I have.  Jesus has done some remarkable things in my life.  I just want others to be able to see Christ in me. 


I started going back to church the middle of last year and it was the best thing I could have done for my life. I want this year to be about Him. I want more of Him and I want to do His work he has asked of us. I love working with the youth. And I will say this until I am blue in the face but when I started I wanted to work with High school girls but that is not where God wanted me at East Pointe. You see if we don't start giving the middle schoolers the right mind set now then what are we doing as leaders, mentors, and adults. I want those girls to know about God and how wonderful He is and if we follow Him then we will be guaranteed a life of eternity with Him. I love working with the yous so much that I wanted more of younger people so I have signed up to work at Generation Next. God led me to that place on the Internet. I am so in love with Christ and I know that He has big plans for me and until he shows them to me then I will do nothing but pray and worhip Him and His will. So for those of you who read this then pray that Gods will be done in our church and especially in our youth because that's where it all starts. I want middle schoolers to know that its easy to be a Christian and serve Him now because you are surrounded by it all the time but one day you might not be. So I want you to do me a favor and surround yourself with God everyday. I strayed away and did a lot of things that I am not proud of and it was hard for me to get where I am today with my relationship with Christ. Jesus Christ is my hero. I wouldn't change what happened to me for anything because it made my relationship with Him a lot stronger. But, I will say that it wasn't easy. Also remember to always let your light shine!!!